Am I Not Good Enough?

I was recently talking to a twelfth class student, and as you'd guess, he was super nervous about the results. He kept asking questions like:

"I studied hard but what if I don't score marks?"

"I want to go to my dream college, but what if I get rejected?"

"What if I'm not just good enough?"

"I want to get a good percentage, but my term 1 result wasn't that good.. What do I do?"

Well, this is what compelled me to write this. I've been through this phase earlier. I am in this phase right now (where I am concerned about what to do once I graduate). I will be in this place for years to come when sometimes I'll be worried about which company to choose, sometimes about when to start a family, or maybe when to buy my own house, and so on.

The point being, there's no answer to the "what if I don't get it",

"what if I'm not good enough", or "what if I don't get the result I aspire to get."

The only possible explanation you can get is in faith, in your dedication, and in your kismat (destiny).

You can put in all the effort you can but sometimes, some things might just be not meant for you. You can row the boat as hard as you can, but sometimes the current would act completely opposite to your direction. You can work as hard as you can, but sometimes you might fall ill before the exam.

And that's exactly why you should not work for the results. Work for yourself. For getting knowledge. For being better than yesterday. For discovering a new you. And for finding a way to put in the best you can so that even when you don't meet your or somebody else's expectations, you can look back and say "I did my best!". After all, there's no race you have to win.

That is exactly what this quote means to say. 

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।

मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥

(Karmanye vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,

Ma Karmaphalaheturbhurma Te Sangostvakarmani)

The meaning of the verse is— You have the right to work only but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction.

You don’t have to study to get good marks. You don’t have to go to a college to get a good placement. You don’t have to get a well-paying job to buy a sports car. 

Rather, 

You have to do all this for yourself. 

Let me explain.

When you attach results to your action, (i.e. If I study 6 hours a day, I’ll get 95% or more), you make yourself vulnerable to the result. You make a plan and when things go south, you end up blaming yourself and feeling that you’re not good enough. And trust me, this cycle of action and result would never end! However, if you study just because you want to study and gain knowledge, your level of satisfaction increases every day. Your result won’t decide your worth and a few numbers won’t comment upon your potential. In fact, you’d end up scoring good only, but without any guilt or pressure. 

Okay, imagine, you had an enormous hotel business planned to be launched in 2020. You were preparing it for years, investing every penny of your savings into it. Would your business be as successful as you planned? Would the 2020 launch be a blockbuster? No, right?  You had plans. You had a vision. You had a team. You had everything that you’d need. But the universe had its own plans which were way more powerful than yours. You would’ve never expected a pandemic. You would’ve never seen nationwide lockdowns coming. So, if your business plan fails, is it because you aren’t good enough? No. It failed because it had to. It’s nothing personal to you. The result did not decide your potential. the effort you put in the project did. 

This is what’s called doing something without expecting a predefined result. Do things for you in the moment, and the future result would automatically follow, And even if it doesn’t, you already did put in your one-hundred percent, right? The only thing that matters is, whatever the result, you should not have any regrets (“Karam kare ja, phal ki chinta mat kar”).

Just have confidence in what you can do and in what the universe has planned out for you. It is for certain that some things won’t work out, some things will fail despite all your efforts, and sometimes your life will let you down. But again, work without expectation, and victory shall come. Perhaps not today, but definitely one day.